May lead to accelerated cynicism in infants

Poem: Santa Baby – St Andrews version

To the tune of:

Santa baby, send gale force winds with mountains of snow,
And ice
Enough to cancel exams, Santa baby,
Please hurry up to East Fife tonight.

Santa baby, I’d love some mid-exam week sex, that’d be
The best
Need to relieve revision stress, Santa baby,
So hook me up in East Fife tonight.

Think of all the balls I’ve missed
Think of all the KK boys I haven’t kissed
Next semester I won’t get quite so pissed (not every week, anyway)
If you’ll check off my Christmas list.

Santa baby, keep Tesco stocked with donuts and cheese,
Pretty please
It’s just that time of year when I cave, Santa baby,
So hurry up to East Fife tonight.

Santa honey, one thing I need that’s really not funny:
Some money
Like in the form of my student loan, Santa honey
So send it to East Fife overnight.

Santa cutie, just fill my stocking with quality vod,
Please god.
The cheap stuff’s taken its toll, Santa cutie,
So hurry up to East Fife tonight.

Make my flat warm like the library
Can you give me a heating plan that’s totally free?
I might rethink not believing in you
If you make Scottish Power forget about me.

Santa Baby, I know it’s hard to come this far North
But the Forth
Road Bridge is clear and I’ll pay you in wine, Santa Baby
So hurry up to East Fife tonight.
Please hurry up to East Fife tonight.

join us x2





'Poem: Santa Baby – St Andrews version' have 2 comments

  1. 15th December 2014 @ 10:38 am Mr Amazed

    Hahahaha…..something actually funny from The Sinner for once.


  2. 15th December 2014 @ 3:51 pm Alcoholic

    So wait, you actually get free wine if you write a poem / article? Why didn’t anyone say!


Would you like to share your thoughts?

Your email address will not be published.

The Sinner is a title owned and published by The Albany Parker Ltd © Copyright 2014. All rights reserved.