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Christmas Letters to the Editor – Cheers and Jeers

I was a little put off by the statement that The Sinner released in regards to Catherine Stihler’s appointment to the position of Rector to the University. I read The Sinner to be entertained, not to be informed, and frankly I’m a little disappointed that you put up such a stink over a whole lot of nothing. It’s unlikely that Ms. Stihler would’ve lost to RON, given her qualifications and her previous affiliation and involvement with the University. In conclusion, I ask you, humbly, please: get over yourself.

Joshua Albertides, 4th year chemistry student.

Allow me to tell you, in an in-humble fashion: ambivalent, atrophied jackasses like yourself are responsible for the disintegration of democracy and integrity that eats at the dark and murky corners of the UK (mainly Dundee and Hull). Sure, today it’s just a rectoral election for some posh university, but one day you’ll wake up to find UKIP running amok in Westminster, bands of brown-shirted youths espousing nationalist propaganda in the streets, and your grandmother selling herself out of your bedroom for less than you’d care to admit, and when that day comes, Joshua, people may ask you, “Where were you the day RON died?”…and you better have an excuse ready.

To whomever it may concern at the offices of The Sinner: I need you to do me a favour. The holiday season is upon us, and I’m in desperate need of a way to reach out to a very special someone whom I know reads this magazine. Please, please…just print this.

“To my dearest Stephanie,

Words cannot describe the affection that I feel for you, but maths can! The only wish on my Christmas list this year is to be your derivative, so I can lie tangent to your curves… how can I know none of the digits of your phone number, but 57 digits of pi? Please Stephanie, be mine!”

Graham Garland, 3rd year maths student.

  1. I believe you’ve confused Christmas with Valentine’s Day.
  2. I’ve only run this because it’s funnier than anything my minions can squeeze from their pea-brains, and I hope that seeing your opus in print will encourage you to come and work for me.

Baby, I’m like a maths book / Image credit: Leesha Gaerlan

These letters were featured in our December print edition. Send us your letters for our February print edition to editor@thesinner.org.

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