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Cold-hearted Phyllis
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BREXIT BREAKING: Complicated Geopolitics had No Impact Whatsoever on Racist Pensioner’s Vote to Leave

  The Director-General of the Institute of Economic Affairs has publicly expressed his shock and disappointment that complicated geopolitical realignments and shifts in the global market had little to no bearing on the vote of Phyllis, seventy-two, from Lincoln. Mark Littlewood, former press spokesman for the Liberal Democrats and one of the Leave Campaign’s most…

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Dyed-in-the-Wool Conservative Blames Launderette

CUPAR, FIFE – A dyed-in-the-wool Conservative has blamed her unflinching right-wing views on a local launderette, which she says has been working hardline Toryism into the fabric of her garments for years. The woman in question is Sue Erskine, a schoolteacher and campaigner for the Scottish Conservative Party. Hailing from a family of working-class socialists, Erskine…

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Association Election Candidates in Sex Party Scandal!

Several high-profile Sabbatical candidates have been identified among those present at a drug-fuelled sex romp hosted by current President Pat Mathewson, The Sinner can reveal. The romp is believed to have taken place last Friday, during Mathewson’s annual Campaign Week potluck dinner. At least four of the guests are currently running for Students’ Association positions,…

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